That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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