The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
