mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
