next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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