Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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