There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
