why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
