just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
