So drunk its hurt
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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