I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
