I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize