I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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