you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
