I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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