So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
