you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦â€
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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