I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
