We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
