Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
