dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just had sex bonerless
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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