So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
