My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
