I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
