Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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