I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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