dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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