So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
