can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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