I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
