oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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