the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
