he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
