Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
