i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
