At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
