she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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