There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
