I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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