I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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