If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
