So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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