So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
