Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
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I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
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You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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