Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
