from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize