Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
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All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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