Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
