Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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