I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
