Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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