well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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