Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize