I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
