Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
