6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
