6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
