I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
