my phone needs a breathalizer
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
