and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
There r osticjed everywhere
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
