Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
