drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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