you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Nobody cheats on THIS.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
