For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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