I'm eating all of the evidence.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
