I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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