didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
